Going Deep With That Someone

What does it mean to go deep with another person? How do you know you're 'there'? And how do we discover these unchartered and intimate territories together?

Ellowen, Musician, writer and warrior of Love

Jan 18, 2021

Think of the ocean: the surface, the waves, the froth, the parts that kiss the air and the sun... You can sit on the shore and admire the ocean without ever getting wet.

Or you can go swimming. If you’re lucky, you might even get to experience what's under the surface.

If you've ever gone snorkelling, perhaps you’ve felt that astonishment upon seeing what's been living under there for your whole waking, walking life - entire worlds happening, without you even realizing.

Still, there are parts that you might never visit. Where there are creatures who feed on the ocean floor and never taste the light of day. These are depths you can only imagine. Perhaps you long to visit them. Perhaps you are afraid. But something still is ever-calling you deeper.

Now, imagine that every person is an ocean.

They've got their surface shining in the sun, whole worlds swimming beneath their exterior, and those realms that are rarely seen, but exist all the same.

We meet people all the time. We might interact with hundreds of people in a day. Yet we're often lacking depth in our connections. How many times have you asked the question 'how are you?" and been met with the veiled lie of “fine, thanks”? How many times have you untruthfully answered that question?

So many of us are sitting on the beach, so to speak, desperately unfulfilled, longing to immerse ourselves in the salty waters of authenticity.

We live in the age of profile pics and likes. Of instant and constant connectivity. Yet in many ways, we’ve never been more disconnected. Our engagement is high but so is our sense of separation—we fill up on emptiness. Despite being full of them, our relationships have become distant and fractured.

The Instagram age doesn’t quite satisfy. Deep down, we all know there’s more.

No matter where we are on our journey of self-discovery, we know this, because we know there’s so much more to us than meets the eye.

So, how can we dive to those depths with another person?

It takes courage. The willingness to see the realness of the person in front of you and willingness for them to see you. Not just what you want to see, not just what (you think) they want to see, but who you really are. Now.

There’s a word for that: intimacy.

Or, into-me-you-see.

As Kim Anami guides, “Share something that you fear makes you look less-than-strong. ⁠Find the places in yourself that feel like walls, the things you are afraid to bring forth and then do exactly that.⁠ Being witnessed and accepted gives you strength. ⁠It helps you to self-actualize.⁠

It can feel a little scary, but that authenticity is like breath. Without it, we die. We shrivel up and so do our relationships.

Your truth is meant to be shared. Beautiful, powerful and transformative, your authenticity is how you go deep.

You can go slowly. Acclimatise the deeper you go. Pause. Enjoy this new scenery. Breathe. And go deeper…

What is there to discover? In them? In yourself? In love?

Now this feels real. This feels exciting.

At Lua, we love the deep! We love to discover and play and be still and grow there. If you are ready to meet people, deeply, dive in with us. Apply here.

See you in the deep,

Ellowen and team Lua

Art by @AldousMassie

Ellowen, Musician, writer and warrior of Love

Ellowen is an Irish musician, priestess and warrior of Love, with a devotion to everyday creativity, landing temples and bringing Lua culture to the world through many magical mediums. Find her at @thisisellowen & www.ellowen.life

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